Something that’s been bothering me lately.

I’ve been really behind in my word count for nanowrimo. Behind as in, I haven’t even broken 25K. And I’m not going to make myself crazy to win this year because life happened at work, and in the worst way.

My grandfather passed away just before nano started, the store manager’s parents got robbed and they brutally attacked in the process, and then he had to leave for a manager’s conference the following weekend, and to boot, he failed to have a respect for my availability, since I ran a write in for my region; our shift lead’s car broke down (again), another shift lead’s grandparents passed away, and she handed in her two weeks notice last week, one of our CSRs (Customer Service Representative) quit half way through the month because it was too much for her to have two jobs while balancing college, another one had to quit earlier in the month due to problems with their blood pressure , and frankly, I haven’t been working a regular schedule at all this month, so my body has no clue what’s going on. This month has been a shit month for writing. Despite all the encouragement I had from co-workers and friends, I just couldn’t force myself to get to that glorious 50K, and I knew that sprinting wouldn’t work because the weather has been bouncing around enough that my tendinitis has been flaring up  more than usual.

One day I was  venting my frustrations on how it was beginning to look like I wasn’t going to win this year, and one of the regulars in my region’s forum literally told me that I just had to deal with it and get my 50K in by the end of the month because “that’s what nano is all about, getting the 50K in spite of life happening.”

No, it isn’t. Anyone telling you that is selling something.

Nano is about telling the story that you keep saying you’ll write, but you never do because you keep making excuses. It is about sitting down and taking time to write.  I will likely continue working on this first draft after NaNo, but November was not the month to devote to it. NaNo isn’t fun when people are constantly guilting others into reaching their word goals, and I certainly didn’t enjoy the constant fret that I was behind in my word count. I seriously considered quitting half way through because I wasn’t sure it was worth it. But I kept writing, I kept going to the write-ins, not just because I said I would, but because I figured that even if I didn’t get to that 50K, what I was writing was more than I would probably write if I had just decided not to do NaNo this year. And really, that’s all the assurance I need going into December – that I stuck it out even when I stopped believing in this story because I believed there was something there.

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